悠哉悠哉，辗转反侧

悠哉悠哉，辗转反侧......也！

ANXIOUS

Actually... whats all this anxiety about...

Afterall I am the ONE that I need to care and love the most......

...... but do I really give a shit?

NO?

RIDDLE

Solving a riddle is never an easy thing to do...
but... this is the hardest I've came across...
give me the wisdom I need...
show me the right answer...
and lead me to the right path...

There... I will see the angel~

人之最高境界

悠然、随心、随性、随缘。

简单的八个字，但是有几个人又能真正做到呢？要是能达到这个境界都已成佛了。

阿弥陀佛~

WHATS THE ODD?

Often I would look at the sky, hoping to see something different, something extraordinary, something special, something that would inspire me to believe in the "although-the-odd-is-low-but-it-is-still-possible" perspective.

At times, the sky does look beautiful - the formation of the cloud, the way the cloud changes its colour in evening from orange to pink and then to grey and eventually to darkness. The sky is really beautiful, especially in autumn. But after a period of time everything just seems to be too predicable. Just like the cloud wont change from pink to grey and then to yellow or green. It's just scientifically impossible. But that is something I am really hoping to see, but whats the odd?

All these years, whenever I step out of my house at night, I would look up to the sky hoping to see a shooting star. I dont know whats the correct number, but I bet there will be thousands of them shooting across our sky every night, or may be every hour. Considering that, the probability of seeing one should be high, but whats the 'genuine odd' of seeing one? I never, NEVER ever 'unintentionally' seen one before. Of course, I have seen some over the years, those when the news is telling everyone, thats too 'commercialise' anyway.

And then whats the odd of coming all the way from Malaysia and get to know a person that seems to have known for ages? The odd is low, but it is still possible. At least I know it is possible :)

LAID BACK?

I supposed I have always been a very aggresive and passionate person. I would argue all the way, standby my principle, fight for my rights, do whatever I could, including hurting people around me (including myself) along the way, just to achieve my goal.

Most of the time I succeeded, with pride, at least on the outside. But deep down I knew if I could be more 'gentle' or if I could approach things differently, perhaps I might not be able to achieve my goal, but I would not make things that difficult for people around me, including myself.

When I just started my current job I was pushing the client, challenging all the aspects of the project, asking a lot of whys. And if I dont agree with any of the issues, I would argue all the way to make my point or until I am convinced. But that was then.

As the days gone by, along with all the ups and downs, I guess I am now a very laid back person. In short, I would sit back and listen rather than questioning and being pushy. At times I might feel sceptical towards something, but I would still prefer to ease up and chill. May be thats good for my heart, but I am feeling I am losing a lil bit of my own character. Apparently this doesnt only happen during my working hours, but has also affected my personality in a whole!

I guess I am now more a retroactive person... Have I really really lost my passion?

**********

By the way, I am very pleased to find out someone is doing great and is in good hands :)

WHEN I AM FRAIL

Whenever my soul is frail, this 2 women always inject hope into my life~

GOOD LUCK

GOOD LUCK~ AND MAY THE LUCKY ANGEL BLESS YOU THIS TIME :)

FINGERS ARE CROSSED~

TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF

Yes, it's over. It doesn't matter anymore who is at fault or who is the initiator. For me there is always no right or wrong in a relationship. If a relationship is broken, it basically means something has went wrong in the relationship up to a point that two people cant live happily together anymore. The love will always be there, because love is cursed. But you cant fake 'happiness'. If the 'happiness' is gone then I think it's time to move on. At least for the time being.

So... is it a new book from here? No. Definitely no. That was a very important chapter in my book of life. The most wonderful ever chapter in my life so far. Without a doubt the most memorable, mesmerizing, beautiful ever chapter in my life. A new chapter? May be. It depends on how I wanna continue the book. But it will definitely be a new leaf of paper before I continue to draft up my book of life.

********************************

It's the second year I spent the Chinese New Year down under, and surprisingly I don't really miss it that much! Perhaps 'out of sight out of mind', as there is not much of a celebration here in Brisbane. And after all it just feels like another ordinary day of the year. Year of Ox wasn't a smooth-sailing year for me, of course there isn't any smooth-sailing year for anyone, but I am glad that I had all the ups and downs. And I guess all the downs will only make me a stronger person, and all the ups will only make me more determined than ever to achieve more 'ups'!

Anyway, I am really hoping this year will be a marvelous roaring Tiger year!

Resolution for the year... erm... don't have any yet... and don't want to set any, but will certainly do something different this year.

Federer on winning his 16th Grand Slam, "I won't just put my entire calendar just around trying to win the calendar Grand Slam, I mean, it's something that if it happens, it's great, but it's not something that's like my number one goal."

And I think I am a bit like that at the moment, no goal at the moment, but I am sure a change is not far away.

PARTED

and then they parted... with a touch of hope, smile, and love :)

I'LL BE THERE

For me, it doesn't really matter anymore how many more times I need to tell you how much I LOVE YOU!

I just want to be there for you during your darkest day...

...and I know a slightest touch, a slightest hug or a slightest kiss would brighten up your days, at least 10 million more times, than what I have been doing a million miles away!

I swear I'll be there for you~