人之最高境界

悠然、随心、随性、随缘。

简单的八个字，但是有几个人又能真正做到呢？要是能达到这个境界都已成佛了。

阿弥陀佛~

WHATS THE ODD?

Often I would look at the sky, hoping to see something different, something extraordinary, something special, something that would inspire me to believe in the "although-the-odd-is-low-but-it-is-still-possible" perspective.

At times, the sky does look beautiful - the formation of the cloud, the way the cloud changes its colour in evening from orange to pink and then to grey and eventually to darkness. The sky is really beautiful, especially in autumn. But after a period of time everything just seems to be too predicable. Just like the cloud wont change from pink to grey and then to yellow or green. It's just scientifically impossible. But that is something I am really hoping to see, but whats the odd?

All these years, whenever I step out of my house at night, I would look up to the sky hoping to see a shooting star. I dont know whats the correct number, but I bet there will be thousands of them shooting across our sky every night, or may be every hour. Considering that, the probability of seeing one should be high, but whats the 'genuine odd' of seeing one? I never, NEVER ever 'unintentionally' seen one before. Of course, I have seen some over the years, those when the news is telling everyone, thats too 'commercialise' anyway.

And then whats the odd of coming all the way from Malaysia and get to know a person that seems to have known for ages? The odd is low, but it is still possible. At least I know it is possible :)

LAID BACK?

I supposed I have always been a very aggresive and passionate person. I would argue all the way, standby my principle, fight for my rights, do whatever I could, including hurting people around me (including myself) along the way, just to achieve my goal.

Most of the time I succeeded, with pride, at least on the outside. But deep down I knew if I could be more 'gentle' or if I could approach things differently, perhaps I might not be able to achieve my goal, but I would not make things that difficult for people around me, including myself.

When I just started my current job I was pushing the client, challenging all the aspects of the project, asking a lot of whys. And if I dont agree with any of the issues, I would argue all the way to make my point or until I am convinced. But that was then.

As the days gone by, along with all the ups and downs, I guess I am now a very laid back person. In short, I would sit back and listen rather than questioning and being pushy. At times I might feel sceptical towards something, but I would still prefer to ease up and chill. May be thats good for my heart, but I am feeling I am losing a lil bit of my own character. Apparently this doesnt only happen during my working hours, but has also affected my personality in a whole!

I guess I am now more a retroactive person... Have I really really lost my passion?

**********

By the way, I am very pleased to find out someone is doing great and is in good hands :)

WHEN I AM FRAIL

Whenever my soul is frail, this 2 women always inject hope into my life~

GOOD LUCK

GOOD LUCK~ AND MAY THE LUCKY ANGEL BLESS YOU THIS TIME :)

FINGERS ARE CROSSED~

TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF

Yes, it's over. It doesn't matter anymore who is at fault or who is the initiator. For me there is always no right or wrong in a relationship. If a relationship is broken, it basically means something has went wrong in the relationship up to a point that two people cant live happily together anymore. The love will always be there, because love is cursed. But you cant fake 'happiness'. If the 'happiness' is gone then I think it's time to move on. At least for the time being.

So... is it a new book from here? No. Definitely no. That was a very important chapter in my book of life. The most wonderful ever chapter in my life so far. Without a doubt the most memorable, mesmerizing, beautiful ever chapter in my life. A new chapter? May be. It depends on how I wanna continue the book. But it will definitely be a new leaf of paper before I continue to draft up my book of life.

********************************

It's the second year I spent the Chinese New Year down under, and surprisingly I don't really miss it that much! Perhaps 'out of sight out of mind', as there is not much of a celebration here in Brisbane. And after all it just feels like another ordinary day of the year. Year of Ox wasn't a smooth-sailing year for me, of course there isn't any smooth-sailing year for anyone, but I am glad that I had all the ups and downs. And I guess all the downs will only make me a stronger person, and all the ups will only make me more determined than ever to achieve more 'ups'!

Anyway, I am really hoping this year will be a marvelous roaring Tiger year!

Resolution for the year... erm... don't have any yet... and don't want to set any, but will certainly do something different this year.

Federer on winning his 16th Grand Slam, "I won't just put my entire calendar just around trying to win the calendar Grand Slam, I mean, it's something that if it happens, it's great, but it's not something that's like my number one goal."

And I think I am a bit like that at the moment, no goal at the moment, but I am sure a change is not far away.

PARTED

and then they parted... with a touch of hope, smile, and love :)

I'LL BE THERE

For me, it doesn't really matter anymore how many more times I need to tell you how much I LOVE YOU!

I just want to be there for you during your darkest day...

...and I know a slightest touch, a slightest hug or a slightest kiss would brighten up your days, at least 10 million more times, than what I have been doing a million miles away!

I swear I'll be there for you~

HOME

回到家的感觉真好 : )

但是好像少了东风......

有时候

有时候

放慢脚步

眺望天空

会觉得天空其实还是那么美

然后深深地吸一口气

再看一看天空

也许云层不再一样了

但仍然还是那么美

要是我是云层那多好

无时无刻地再变化

但永远都会是那么美

原来太阳一直都在

是我糊涂了

难得糊涂啊!

I...

I just wish someone would be there for me while I'm conquering the world... I think that's not greedy... but somehow it's not happening at the moment... I really hope it will...it will... it...

夕阳

太阳一定要每天按时下山吗？

有不下山的太阳吗？

爱情真的跟夕阳一样吗？

总是要慢慢的把一束一束光线吞没

留下一丝不苟的天空

慢慢的被黑暗侵蚀

然后留下让人恐惧的夜晚

还记得五年前在一个朋友的部落格里看到一篇满有意思的文章，结果五年后的今天我仍然能牢牢记得.....

每一个人一生都只有一段恋情可以有完美结局。一起 > 热恋 > 平静 > 淡忘 > 分手

是大多数恋爱的过程，分别只在于过程的长短。

但是就只有不停的重复这简单亦复杂过程，我们才能找到我们的“唯一”。

难道真的没有例外吗？

TOUCH

Sometimes a touch means so much to me~

ENTANGLEMENT

Often in our life there will be something entangling us, preventing us from going somewhere, doing something, eating something, loving somone, etc...

And if you think you will be freed from the entanglement and eventually get the 'freedom' you craved for, then you are wrong!

Before you even realise, you have already pushed yourself deep into a big pile of shit while freeing yourself, and to free yourself from that pile of shit, is never easy!

Afterall, you are still entangled, but with something else, and it doesnt stop there either.

Such is life......

MOURNING FOR THE LOST OF THE KING

I think the world had just lost one of its icon in Michael Jackson - The King of Pop.

I am never a HUGE fan of Michael Jackson, but I do watch lots of his MTV and listen to his songs when I grow up - who doesnt? Regardless you like it or not his face was everywhere in the 80s and 90s, from the States to Europe across Africa to Asia, who doesnt know Michael Jackson?

Perhaps he is indeed a pedophile and his desperate tries to transform to a white might somehow ruined his otherwise fantastic image on the stage, but to me he is always the King of the stage, a King that now left a legacy that can never be followed-suit!

His dance moves (moon walk, 360 degree turn, penis grabbing, etc), sunglasses, his yell 'AW!', hat, white gloves, and ever-glowing-suits, and nevertheless songs like Thriller, Black or White, Smooth Criminal and Heal the World are things that will always remind me of him.

Michael Jackson alone is more famous than the combination of Princess Diana, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, and Elvis Presley. I bet you there are more people crying today for his lost than the lost of the combination of the former four.

I'm thinking is there anything that could possibly shock the world to this extent after his tragic lost... nothing perhaps...

May you rest in peace, King~

MISTAKE

Mistake is one thing that we can never avoid to make in our life. It doesn't matter how perfect you are, how impeccable you are, how complete you are, or who you are; we still make mistakes in our life. It could be something small like calling someone with a wrong name or a silly multi million business decision or wearing a bra in a wrong way :p It could be anything. But WE do make mistakes.

It is OK to make mistakes and most of the time mistakes can be rectified. Every mistake comes with a price and no matter are we willing or not, we still have to pay the price of it. And with the price paid we can always, ALWAYS, buy a lesson. Most importantly, we have to make sure we dont lose the lesson.

Regretting and feeling sorry for the mistakes you've made will only aggravate the problem and will only increase your remorseness. But what defines your personality is whether if you can pick up the positives from the mistakes you made and make sure you wont repeat the mistake you made and hurt yourself or other people again.

********************************************************************

我们总是在追求不同的理想、梦想。随着年龄的增长，我门追赶的东西也一直都在变。生活中必定也会有些东西强迫着我们无法拒绝。但不管年龄的变化，只要我们锁定自己的理想和目标，再艰难忐忑的路程我们都必定可以傲过。

苦难和心灵的贫穷总是像一张纠缠的蜘蛛网猖獗的覆盖我们单薄的青春，从一个角落延伸到另一个角落 - 就象我们不断制造伤口在自己身上和别人身上。但只要轻易的挥一挥，再纠缠、再稠密蜘蛛网也无法抵制、任意的被摧毁。关键就在那一‘挥’！只要我们肯踏出第一步，再苦难的烦恼、再深邃的伤口，最终都回迎刃而解。

#############################################################

Let it go!

The sun will rise again tomorrow and I will be there, as always :)

幸福

有人说

幸福是在肚子饿时

有一碗热腾腾的面端在眼前

一口一口毫无忧郁地啖着

有人说

幸福是在寒冬夜里

可以躲在那温暖如春的棉被里

深深睡着

有人说

幸福是下雨天时

可以在屋子里

手拿着香喷喷的咖啡

欣赏着窗外行人五颜六色的雨伞

有人说

幸福是个遥不可及、奢侈地梦想

有人说

幸福就在我们近在咫尺的地方

但很多人都感觉不到、触及不到

其实幸福是每个人都在憧憬的

得不到幸福的人在仰望幸福

拥有幸福的人在观望幸福

我已不再仰望幸福

我已学会了满足和陶醉

满足我现有的幸福

陶醉在现有的幸福

至于人们所谓那梦寐以求完美无缺的幸福

就让幸福天使决定吧！

如果我在你身边

如果我在你身边
就能轻易的分享你的喜悦
就能在人群中紧紧的牵着你的手

如果我在你身边
就能驾车带你到处遨游
就能惊喜的从背后给你个拥抱

如果我在你身边
生活也许完全不同
可能每天吃的每天穿的每天做的事都不一样

很快的
我会在你身边

4.02pm

My 'official' working hour is usually from 8am to 4pm everyday. And to be honest, like most of the people, I am really looking forward to the 4pm everyday. Although usually I dont have any particular special event to look forward to, but still, for some reason 4pm is just so 'irresistibly attractive'!

But leaving work at 4pm has now become a very wild dream for me! For the pass weeks the earliest I finished work is 5pm, and I am getting really pissed with the long working hour. Because if I finish later than 4.30pm I would got stuck in the traffic and end up reaching home at 6pm the earliest. After a long day of work the last thing I would ever want is to be clogged up in the traffic.

And today, right at 4.02pm, got a called from the manager, got some extra work to do. End up leaving work at 5.30pm, reaching home at 7.00pm... disaster! Really pissed! Lost of words to describe the frustration.

With the economy crisis still milling around, I should feel very lucky to be still employed. And should feel very lucky to have the opportunity to work till so late... How lucky... how lucky...

AND I LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY...

It has been quite a tough week for me, not knowing how my future lies, guessing and hoping that I will survive this latest ecomony crunch!

But seriously I didnt see this coming at all! Just not too long ago, may be a month back or so, my company just sent out an assurance email to each and every staffs of Coffey around the world, saying that we are doing fine and encourage all the staffs to work harder and gain more work and NOT to get too worried about the economy crunch or retrenchment etc, and also announced that Coffey has the biggest revenue for the past 6 months since their establishment. And in one other email, the CEO of the company also announced that Coffey has just formed another new subsidiary company called Coffey Rail and win a big project in London, worth 900 million dollars or so...

And then out of a sudden we have this 'emergency' staff meeting invite sent out at 9.30pm the night before, informing that the company is not doing very good and 'unfortunately' the company has to make certain 'cognitive action' to bring the business forward. In a more ugly sentence, the company is doing not as good as before and someone need to be sacrificed/made redundant/fired. And this is the first time Coffey doing this since its establishment at 1960.

From my understanding, the Coffey branch here in Brisbane is actually doing very good compared to other branches in Australia, and we are actually dragging all other branches in Australia. And if so, I think it is very very very unfair to all our staffs in this office!

First of all, if the company is not doing 'so well', then why announce that the company is earning more than ever? Why sent out this assurance email? Why still hiring staffs in the past couple of months? For an instant, it seems that this 'economy crunch' perhaps is just an 'excuse' or 'good reason' for big companies to execute this redundancy exercise.

I was depressed, I was having this constant mental tortoring, I was very anxious for the last whole week. But who wasnt?

I'm lucky, I survived. But some didnt. And I really feel sad/bad for them although I havent been long in the company.

Perhaps thats life, a handful of people made some stupid decisions > economy crunch > a lot of people lose their job, lose their house, lose their life, lose a lot of money, got stuck in deep shit > many move on, fight on and see another day light > some never get out from the shit forever > some... the list goes on...

Hope this will never happen anytime soon in the future... at least not in the forth coming couple of months!

Ok. Finish grumbling. I'll move on.